Monday, April 30, 2012


September 17, 2011

I have been on a crazy roller coaster of new adventures, difficult decisions, surrender, joy in Christ, peace that only comes from God, trials that I have never had to come against thus far in my life, miracles and life-changing experiences. This all began when I made the decision to step out in faith and stay in California to go to IMPACT195 with no pre-planning done – I moved out here from across the country after a week of IMPACT Open House.  I did not know where I was going to stay or how I was going to pay for anything - food, rent, tuition, etc...But, I felt the Lord speaking very clearly to me that it was time to let go and listen to the prompting he was so strongly putting on my heart, to give up the comforts of living at home, leave friends and family, and two great jobs to experience Him in a way that I had never experienced Him before; in a way that my heart had been longing for. Just days after I made a decision the Lord provided a place for me to live; and because of my previous jobs I had enough money for food and rent.  As I walked into school on the first day I was feeling pretty excited for what the Lord was going to do but also very overwhelmed with all the trials I knew I was about to go through. One, because of the decision I made with staying and leaving all my support and two, because I knew that whenever a person sets out to follow the Lord – the enemy doesn’t like it and starts working overtime to discourage you and to bring hard times.  So on the first day of school I had no tuition paid for but I had about a $1000 dollars in my bank account for rent and food. I again felt the Lord telling me to let go and trust Him and know that is He was a BIG God able to do BIG things.  So I put down on my financial form that I had $1,000 dollars towards the $2,000 tuition cost.  When I arrived at school that day, the very first news I heard was "Your tuition for Term 1 was paid for anonymously by someone.”  I was overwhelmed with gratitude and joy but I also felt pretty bad for not having really trusted the Lord for it. But regardless of anything I did, He blessed me abundantly. Now I could keep my $1,000 and pay for room and board. This was the first of many lessons on really TRUSTING the Lord on this path to becoming a missionary.

Through IMPACT195 Term 1, I learned what it felt like to truly be loved and how to begin loving other people in the way Christ loves, not in the way I thought was good enough but rather in a 1st Corinthians Chapter 13 kind of LOVE. The Lord has been completely transforming my heart to be more like Him. I am not perfect at this and I know I will never be but day by day I'm learning to be better, and to rely on Hm more.  I want to be His hand and feet and understanding the depth of His love for me helps me to express that to others in a real way.  A LOVE lesson, my love has limits but God’s love is infinite and unconditional.

No comments:

Post a Comment